kitty valium

plan awesome worked. i enjoyed that bottle of wine very much. o. and i snuggled on the couch with a blanket and some crackers and cheese and drinks. he was more flipped out then i was, initially, if that's possible. before i took him from an ex. he'd had very bizarrely hectic and horrific things happen to him so he's incredibly sensitive to any changes. he's kind of more like a shepherd dog, he wrangles and vocalizes and needs a job and safety. i was worried about him, because it's been like, 9 years of being with t, and this is the first time they were separated. when i came home, he jumped in the cat carrier, and then he wandered around looking for t in all the places that t usually is. then he settled on my chest and fell asleep, exhausted. the kind of sleep that's quite as normal in it's trust as he was in his confusion. i stroked his nose, and between his eyes, up into the top of his head, behind his ears. he moved softly and sighed. trust and pleasure is kind of amazing.

that was a few hours. and there was a storm last night, an incredible one. gorgeous. the lights were low in the apartment and the music was lovely. i thought about t in the lab, probably in a cage, like he'd been when i met him as a kitten. i hope he wasn't scared. more likely drugged out of his mind so the thunder sounded like a mama cat's heart.

a weird phenomenon of my building, lightning hits the top of the roof and crackles down the side, so that happened a couple of times. the surge was sort of incredible.

anyways, the AMC just called. i'm gonna go see my beautiful friend.

update!: in the cab over we were listening to NPR. i don't know what show it was but my pity and stress and drama queen explosion was interrupted by "are you there god? it's me margaret." srsly. the host was reading from that book. BWAaHAHAH hAHHAHhHAhasdfghjkl;'

then, at the emergency room:
ooh! a ferret!
dogs are awesome. even if they are sick they have to play with each other.
ooh! kitty valium!

they brought him out and he had one of those cones around his neck and like catheter bags all over and i just bawled. the tech was, what the hell? and said, he's uncomfortable. and i was all WELL, CLEARLY CAPTAIN OBVIOUS. so we went back to the west side and i was singing to him, and he was knocking his head against my leg trying to rub it with his head. there are at least 4 cab drivers in this city who think that they had a lunatic in their car, and they are right.

so now he's at my vet and he has to keep the thing in him for 36 hours counting from yesterday when i brought him in initially, and probs won't be home until tomorrow night. o. is chilling and i'm going to go for a run in the park. i hate running but i feel like it would be good. all the plum and cherry blossoms are out!

i told my brother what happened and about the catheter in t's penis for 36 hours and i was like kitty valium is the least of what i hope they gave him he could have all my percoset for fuck's sake jesus and g. was like omg it's good they have him, probably the longer the better so you don't have to see what he's going through. you can imagine he's in a little meadow with flowers. and i said, chasing butterflies! and he said. look at that butterfly! it's blue.